Start All over Again

As much as I'm loving the going-ons in my life, I cant help but still ponder on my current post breakup scenario.

Like it or not,I will label myself as a girl on the prowl for her Mr.Right.(eerrrrgghhh, I hate groupies but I am in that group!)

It is overwhelming sometimes to think I'm back into this dating scene.

Im certainly not an amateur on this for I have had, mind you,numerous breakups, been through it the whole way and bounced back right up.

But to start all over again at this age, the only word I can think of at this moment is darn TIRING.

Because although this might seem interesting and giddy at first, the novelty of it all wears off.

I do not have the energy nor the patience anymore.

Not at least to start all those pre-couplehood, mushy-mushy,Im-on- cloud-9 thinggy. All I want is to take the shortcut, skip the pre-dating scene and just welcome the comfort feeling of couplehood.

NO more of playing games.

Is that too much to ask?

Being single at this stage in my life is seriously odd.

And sometimes scary.

That is no joke.

It is to the extent that I wake up at 4am on most nights, worrying how much longer I'd be attached with this 'single status, and the thought (In case you forgot, I am no superwoman) looming over me on my 'abilities' to attract those blokes.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been part of a pair.

My friends tell me to relax.

The somewhat cliche phrase I often receive from them, "Alar, you petik jari ajer and guys will be lining up".Tapikan,from my last psychic evaluation, I petik jari, I tengok around, but takder pape pun.;p

Lagi satu, what is the connotation of "petik jari" and attracting YOUR kind of guy?Tak masuk akal sungguh. Kalau petik jari, yang datangnyer itik, but in reality what you were hoping for is ayam, then how?(Nyehhhhheheheheh..) ;)

It is also awkward now, when my slightest attention towards the opposite sex can be misinterpreted and classified as liking or have an interest to start a relationship. Aiyooohhhh, banyak pening kepala oohhh...to cope with this handful of love seeking guys.

I might sound desperate but I am not a psycho that I would be soo eager to jump into the bandwagon of the I-love-you's just because we've gone out on a few dates together.

Please, the minimum requirement and rule of thumb is to have the chemistry flowing, first.Let's not even talk about finding the 'spouse material'. It's very much slim pickings these days.

I just want an open relationship. The ego factor put aside,where anything can be said in a conversation without any hidden agenda.Bringing the best of each other through care, respect and commitment.

And of course both must have an ulimate devotion towards the relationship.

Again, is that too much to ask?

The Secret says that you must ask first and the universe will answer.

So I am asking NOW. And I'm more than ready to receive the guy.

Please let the universe work in tandem with the need for my kind of guy.

Oh, pretty please.