Understanding PAIN and LOVE

I got an email from R-Jai (thanks R-Jai!) for one of my posts here in this blog entitled Broken Reflections, and instead of writing a reply as a comment on that particular post, I decided to write a new post for it. Here goes:

“I’ve been where you are now. In fact it has been 15 years and the pain is still the same. Love, pretty word. No one ever tells you how deadly it can be. The hypocrisy of the world is countless. And the betrayal of your so called family and friends is like a burning flame that never ceases. Love is nothing but a four letter word, that robs you of your very essence and leaves you gutless, empty, torn, confused and worthless. If there is a god in heaven watching every single move that we make, every thought in our minds before we speak it. Why does he let our hearts be broken and torn apart on a daily basis.” - R-Jai

First of all, I’d like to note that NOT every post that I write or post in this blog is based on my OWN personal experience. Since the theme of this blog is about life, love, and inspiration, sometimes, I include posts or sentiments here that I know many people in the world are experiencing, broken hearts, life issues, etc. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m experiencing it too in my life at that particular moment.

So with that said, this email from R-Jai really says a lot about the not-so-wonderful side of love. You can feel it overwhelming with pain and bitterness. And we all experience bad moments in our lives, right? Sadly, we can’t avoid that because as I said, this world is not our final destination. That’s why we experience all kinds of pain here, to remind us that we shouldn’t cling too much to the physical world. Our goal would be to unite with God in heaven, and there we will live a life that is free of pain and worries. I’m not preaching, neither am I convincing people to believe in what I’m saying. This is my own personal belief, and I’m just sharing it to those whose minds are open enough to receive it.

R-Jai, I know from your words that you’ve experienced it all, pain, bitterness, confusion, a sense of worthlessness, and yet you’ve survived. And you should be proud of yourself for that.

Love is a beautiful experience. Yes, it will always bring pain and God knows what else… but it also brings joy and a feeling of being complete that none of us can ever explain or fathom. In my experience, I’d rather have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. I’ve experienced pain, but I’ve also experienced happiness beyond compare. And I’ll never trade that happiness for anything. I am who I am now not only because of the positive moments that happened in my life, but essentially because of the bad moments too. We experience these painful moments so we could well appreciate the good moments. Experience the bad, to appreciate the good. God allows these things to happen, He allows our hearts to be broken, so we would GROW. Every time we feel pain, He’s on the works, He’s working on us to make us better persons.

The same is true with love, without love, we will never be complete. Love makes the world go round, love is the force that keeps us innately good. I wouldn’t blame love for the pain it brings, nor will I hold a grudge against it for the misery it caused, instead I will thank God for it. We get wounds from it, but those wounds will heal if we allow God to heal them. But it’s not like magic that poof! it’s all healed. It will start from us too, FORGIVENESS and ACCEPTANCE are the keys to healing. Pain is just but a reminder, that we have lessons to learn, joys to look forward to, and a God to go to in times of need. Don’t be scared of pain and love because it’s part of LIFE. Grieve from it, get angry at it, but don’t be consumed by bitterness because of it. Instead, learn from it and use it to become the best person you can be.