Choices...

Life is all about choices, some say. And yes, I too agree. From daily lives to the major choices of our lives. From choosing what food are we going to eat today to to what are we going to do with our lives.

Long time ago, with a friend who’s very dear to me (oh how I missed him so..), I had a discussion about choices of life and how every single choice that we make would bring us places but not in certain things. Those things (according to him) are birth, mate, fortune and death. At that time, we were young (in terms of age in this particular life) and we haven’t made many choices to be regretted for. But we came to a ‘silence’ that night, ‘silence’ I can’t ever forget. ‘Silence’ that says ‘here we go, choices are waiting’.

Many years gone by now, we surely walked our own path and made the choices of our own life. Right or wrong is (surely) not the subject (and so not my subject). And our choices did take us places. He’s got his own company now and I just can’t wait for the moment I’d inhale a breath and never exhale it back.

Gratitude or regret is the common reaction after we make our choices. If the choices are beneficial in anyways, gratitude would be uttered. And if we don’t find any beneficial (as per our terms), we’d pose a regret.

Both, gratitude and regret, are reactions after we make an act of choosing. Having the reaction after an action is normal, in fact its nature’s law. That’s why life has its ups and downs. I, personally, am still trying to enjoy this ride, to the max. I’d have no hesitation at all to laugh as hard as I want and to suck the pain in its every iota part in terms of enjoying this ride to the max. And I have.

But, instead of lagging on reaction, I figure to take a lil bit lead. I’m taking the lead till we get to the gap between choices. Just right before we’d make another choice in this life. What is really going on there ?

We’d mostly find calculation and comparison there in every aspect possible. Feelings and emotions sometimes play their role to either screw or help us. And in fewer sometimes, we have our consciousness and awareness rules.

Sometimes when we find ourselves in the lead position, we get to have a prediction of the reaction we’d experience later on. Might help us a little to go through the ups and downs. Especially if we have the consciousness and the awareness up.

But I can’t help wondering, after all those choices I made in this particular life, that has brought me places (real places and state-of-mind places), after all the gratitude and all the regrets, is it really up to me to make all those choices ? Or I was (am still) just blinded by the ego playing God ? Since whatever choices I’d have made in the past, eventually will bring me in this one particular place where I am now (regarding the things that are certain no matter what between birth and death).

Somehow and some when between those agarbattis, I just lay down there and figure whatever may come as my choices in the table of life and whatever my choosing would be, all I have to do is just be prepared for the ups and downs, without getting too attach with it, cause I held high my responsibility (read: respond ability) attitude without losing style in the process.

Choices were in the table. We’ve chose. And in between is our attitude, our respond ability, the responsibility. Till the next choices lay in the table.

Peace... Izzatis ** NYC